I finally took the initiative to get legal advice from a local practice for my name and gender marker changes. It wasn't as stressful as I imagined it would be, which was nice given how bad my social anxiety is. That said, I used their website contact form, not the phone, so that helped.
I'll be seeing her next week, and am hoping I can take good enough notes to follow through on all the stuff I need to do on my own. I understand it's "easier" to do all this in the state I live in than in some, but at the same time, anything to do with the court system makes me extremely nervous. (Every time in the past I've had to spend time at the courthouse it was a harrowing, exhausting experience. And one that I always wished I had put more effort into avoiding...)
At any rate, once this starts its going to snowball into a rush to get everything updated, and that's kind of exciting. Scary, but exciting.