because i just got to that "i don't give a crud" stage. again.
the one where i am so tired and have given up so utterly that taking a drug that quite literally almost killed me a few months ago actually sounds like a good idea.
i don't even have enough for a full month trial at a quarter dose, though, so i have no idea what i'm thinking.
honestly i don't think i am thinking. i'm just reacting. reacting to being lonely, filled with fear and anxiety, and miserable enough to be hurting myself, and i would kindly like it to please stop.